I’ve been going about this marriage thing all wrong. Instead of thinking about it as, she gets half my shit, I need to start thinking about it as, I get half HER shit! Who wants to marry me? And has money. And is ok with me neglecting you and mistreating you and making you feel insecure in an effort to drive you to cheat on me so I can file for divorce? Come on, ladies, get it while it’s hot.