Apply Now!

Hello, my name is Dave Charlie and I would like to tell you all about my new university, University of Fuck You Give Me All Your Parents’ Money or Go into Large Amounts of Debt, or UFYGMAYPMOGILAD for short. UFYGMAYPMOGILAD is a private university founded by Dave Charlie in 2013. Is not accredited by the state of California or any other state or country, it is accredited by Dave Charlie’s board of education, which Dave Charlie also just created and no one can stop him.

Here at UFYGMAYPMOGILAD we value money, your money. Which becomes our money. In return, you get to drink egregious amounts of alcohol, do drugs, sit around playing video games, and have casual sex with your classmates. Oh, and you will also get your degree, which you will need in order to do anything.

We place a strong emphasis on hypocrisy. And nothing screams hypocrisy like having your parents/the government pay out the ass for young children to come to a hedonistic paradise filled with underage drinking, drugs, sloth, and sexual promiscuity all under the guise of getting an education. Here, you will spend 4-6 years learning some semi-worthwhile stuff maybe and graduating with a major that will likely have nothing to do with the job you actually get.

List of colleges:
-At Least You’ll Have Your Degree, College of Letters, Arts and Sciences
-You’ll Probably End Up in Management, School of Engineering
-You’ll Have to Go to Grad School, School of Business.
-I’m Seriously Dying Laughing Right Now, School of Communication

We also have a strong Greek system that really embodies our devotion to hypocrisy. We have over 30 fraternities and sororities that claim to be “brotherhoods” and “sisterhoods” who give back to the community and hold charity events, but in actuality their only real concern is getting wasted and having sex with each other.

The application is due by January 10th. The application fee is 1000 dollars. We will notify you by May 1st of our decision to admit you. If you don’t get in, your life is over.