You want to see my resume? You mean that page of hyperbole and half-truths where I manipulate and exaggerate all the things I’ve done, that I send to people I want to work for so they’ll bring me in so I can lie to them that I don’t get shitfaced and have casual sex on weekends? That document? Would you like to see it? Do you know some people you can pass it along to? I’m so grateful for this opportunity. I look forward to our future correspondence. Warmest Regards, Go Fuck Yourselves. P.S. I dropped out of college.