You know the saying: “Men are pigs”? Well, men are actually more like dogs. We like to eat, sleep, get back rubs, put our noses in people’s crotches, and hump everything. You try to keep us on a leash, and we just want to run around and explore. But, despite our shortcomings, you keep coming back for more. Me, I’m an oversized beagle. I’m gonna do my own thing, but I’ll maybe give you some attention if and when I feel like it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a nap.