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Stuttgarter Frühlingsfest 2013

Prost!
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I’ll tell you why I will be a successful writer IF I ever am. Because I’m just going to keep writing and writing and writing and writing and writing no matter what. So, either I will spend a lifetime failing completely or I will be able to glean some modicum of ‘success’ off the floor. And either way, as long as I stay true to myself, that’s real success. – You can quote me on that

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Guys, I have great news! I got promoted! I promoted myself from stagnant, whiny, angst-ridden Facebook blogger to traveling, freelance, write-whatever-I-want Fuck You journalist! It is an unpaid position, BUT my benefits include: seeing Europe, fornicating with exotic women, drinking heavily, and basically doing whatever the fuck I want all the time. Congratulations me!

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Tums

I always enjoy eating Tums because I’m eating calcium carbonate. Just listen to how that sounds, calcium carbonate. I feel like a superhero or a healthier version of Han Solo.

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Fudge packer

He was literally packing fudge

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The key to Dumbledore’s office

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Stop looking at me, swan!

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I don’t even know where to go with this one

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Uhhhhh, where’s the men’s section?

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That job would be a royal pain in the ass

He was a sour puss.

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