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My very talented graphic designer also happens to be a mother of two toddlers, so I need you to just be patient, okay? Thanks 👍

I know, I know, my website is terrible. I’m working on it.

Penis

Does this mean they’re “on a break”?

You ruined your mother’s body and she’ll never forgive you.

Instead of murdering your wife, try asking for a divorce first.

I’m looking into my crystal ball, and I see relationships abruptly ending: “wait, you voted for Trump?”

I like my humor how Darth Vader likes his side of the force.

I find the human race repulsive and pointless. No offense.

Ah, fuggedaboutit.