The Official Website of Dave Charlie

What do you call a male cow sleeping? A bulldozer!!!! Andddd I’m already sorry for that

Why do I use emoticons so much?

Who the hell invented fried cheese? Ok, let’s take this fat and soak it in this other fat and then dip it in this third kind of fat and then shove it down our gullets

I just learned what a walk-off home run is. I should probably learn more about America’s greatest pastime, but I simply do not give a fuck. I gave it three attempts watching a game and not falling asleep, and now baseball is out. That seems fair to me.

For every one Hemingway, Bukowski, Henry Miller, or Hunter Thompson, there are at least 100 million pathetic hacks, jokers, and wannabes. And I quite possibly am one of them.

“Ciao! I want you to ciao down on my ballsack.”

Do you think that would be a good pick up line here in Italy??

“Daddy was ashamed. Daddy was ashamed. Daddy was ashamed he was nothing. Disgraced the family name. Disgraced the family name. Disgraced the family name. Going nowhere.”

Look, in case you haven’t noticed, when I quote outside sources on this blog I put them in italics. The reason I do not accredit them is because I like to see who recognizes it and who doesn’t and if it is a good enough quote and someone is curious about it I want them to go research it and find out and possibly introduce them to a new author or band. I can get away with not accrediting quotes on my blog because I’m not making any money off of it. When I quote outside sources in my books, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS accredit them immediately because I am making money from book sales. Not very much, but whatever fuck you 🙂

“I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
I’m gonna get free
Ride into the sun”