I’ll tell you why I will be a successful writer IF I ever am. Because I’m just going to keep writing and writing and writing and writing and writing no matter what. So, either I will spend a lifetime failing completely or I will be able to glean some modicum of ‘success’ off the floor. And either way, as long as I stay true to myself, that’s real success. – You can quote me on that
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Oooo, new porn idea. Peeper Pan fucks Captain Hooker. Guys? Yeah? What do you think? Guys? Are you still there?
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Wow, I pity my parents so much. They are good people, what did they do to deserve me?
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I guess I made a LinkedIn account awhile back because I’ve had a couple people request me on it. Yeah, ya know, I’m not really a LinkedIn type of guy. That’s sorta like Jenna Jameson with an IMDb page. It’s like yeah, kinda, but no, not really
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“I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends.” -Walt Whitman
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Ja Ja
Sweet German joke:
What does American beer have in common with sex on the beach?
They’re both fucking close to water.
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“Potential” is probably my least favorite word ever.
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Shiza!
Man, German girls are so fucking hot. I now have this perverse sexual role-playing fantasy where one of them dresses up as a sexy Gestapo officer with a mini skirt and heels and I dress up like a Holocaust victim and she starts yelling at me in German and whipping me with her belt because I tried to steal food and I tell her how I’m starving and how hungry I am then she says, “well, if you’re so hungry, then eat my pussy.” And I hike up her skirt and eat her out for awhile, then we have raucous, violent sex and when I’m fucking her from behind she says “shiza! Shiza!” And I’ll bark angrily, “oh, shiza, eh?” and I’ll stick it in her ass. Then when I’m about to climax I’ll pull out, get her on her knees, and jizz a swastika onto her face. I mean, it’s a little cliché but it would be fun.
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The Santa Clause
Has there ever been a commercial during the holidays with a voice over reciting “The Night Before Christmas” and once they get to the line “not even a mouse” then the camera stops panning and focuses on someone setting up a brand new computer for their loved one and the voice over pauses and he says something to the effect “well, maybe a mouse.” And we all smirk and they sell computers. Has that been done before? Should I start copyrighting my ideas so people don’t steal them? No one wants to steal them anyway? Perfect!!
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Words words words!
New word, “journaling.” Journalism is taken because it is understood to mean: “the occupation of reporting, writing, editing, photographing, or broadcasting news or of conducting any news organization as a business.” So we need another noun form of the verb “journal” that means “to write in your journal.” And so there you go.
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