The Official Website of Dave Charlie

By the way, I’m falling in love with German grocery stores. They are so fucking cheap, I can’t get over it. I’ll be checking out and I’ll have double the amount of food that anyone else in line has, including like mothers who are shopping for entire families, and that’s me holding myself back! And the total comes to like 9 euro! It’s so fucking awesome! Yes, I want a giant bag of gummy bears for 99 cents! Hop in, little guys, get in my belly! Bring your friends! 47 cent tall boy?? Waterslide!

A loofa is the kind of thing you don’t appreciate til it’s gone

Watch Dave Charlie struggle to adjust to his new habitat. He is no longer in the familiar territory that conceived him, he no longer resides exclusively in the comfort of “Facebook.” Will he survive on his own? Stay tuned to find out!

A little advice to people from my experiences staying in hostels. Never go down a bunk bed ladder stomach facing forward. Always turn around and go down ass out. The human body was not designed to descend ladders on its heels. Just trust me on this one.

You know when you get a really bad cut, you don’t always notice it right away? That happens with hot girls too. This one was waiting to board the same train as me just now and I looked at her and it was like 5 seconds of not registering anything, then it hit me 3 steps later and I was like, holy shit, she’s fucking hot. Then you realize you’ll never ever get her and the wound gushes and gushes, then you make up excuses in your head and rationalize and trivialize and relativize and the bleeding finally stops and it starts to scab over.

Do you see how I express real concerns and doubts and misgivings but then use humor to diffuse the tension?? Horse penis!! 8======D~~~~
😀 😀

Guys, on a serious note, when I come back to Los Angeles, I am fucked. Not like, hehe, haha, Davey is in twubble……No. I am actually seriously fucked. We are talking like sleeping on the floor of a friend’s house and biking to McDonald’s for minimum wage. I’m firmly convinced that my only chance at making it past 35 is pure charity. I also like rainbows, unicorns, and cotton candy!

Man, I’ve been learning so much about myself on this trip!!! Golly!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck off

There is no wagon