The Official Website of Dave Charlie

I fell in love with an angel. Angel Pink. Or was it Angel Dark? I guess I fell in love with both of them. At the same time. It was a really well done scene.

Holy shit, this blog is a disaster. My life is a disaster. I am a disaster.

Someone asked me: “Do you still want to do the writing thing?” I’m not sure you fully understand. Writing is not just “a thing.” It is THEE FUCKING THING. Yes, I do make other commitments, and I have friends and family who I love dearly, and my time allocation may not always reflect it, but when it comes down to it, I promise, YOU are my side thing.

One day my writing might start to infringe upon my personal life. Sorry, personal life!!

You know the saying: “Men are pigs”? Well, men are actually more like dogs. We like to eat, sleep, get back rubs, put our noses in people’s crotches, and hump everything. You try to keep us on a leash, and we just want to run around and explore. But, despite our shortcomings, you keep coming back for more. Me, I’m an oversized beagle. I’m gonna do my own thing, but I’ll maybe give you some attention if and when I feel like it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a nap.

When it comes to women, I don’t like being smothered. Unless it’s with a pillow. And she’s naked. And straddling me and bouncing up and down and my penis is inside one of her fleshy orifices.

I also find strippers disgusting. That’s where alcohol comes in. Hooray for honesty!!!

I don’t know if you’re stupid or you think this is all just a big silly joke, but I LIKE STRIPPERS. I really do. I like them. I like hookers too, I’ve had one. Well actually it was two, but at the same time. No, I don’t want to get married. I don’t want commitment and I hate children. Are we starting to understand now? Honestly, how thick is your fucking skull? Pretty thick. But not thicker than this stack of ones I’m about to blow at the Hustler Club.

Sorry, just been busy. I’ll rape your newsfeed now if that’s ok.

Remind me to change my marriage metaphor slightly. Same basic concept, but it’s gonna be way sexier.