The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Thanks for your input, I’ll keep it in mind when I DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. Keep you posted 😉

Look, I don’t know if you’re mentally retarded, maybe mommy had a little too much of her medicine when you were in the uterus, but you don’t fucking microwave fish, you just don’t do it ever. No shellfish either. If it comes from the ocean, it doesn’t go in the fucking microwave.

What did the runaway vehicle say to the world? I need a fucking brake.

I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that I think Eastern European women and I are going to get along really well.

Headed to the gym. The gym beam.

I may be many things, but a liar is not one of them.

Oh, you want some of my Pop Rocks? Yeah? Well too bad, you can have any. They’re all mine.

You like my mustache? That’s great, thanks! Oh, you don’t like it? Go fuck yourself.

While many of my peers seem to be interested in things like “marriage” and “children,” I find myself more interested in things like “blow job” and “beer” and “Prague” and “threesome.”

Bobby and I got back together.