The Official Website of Dave Charlie

“Relax, urine is sterile.”
“Not if you have a UTI.”

I just wasted four hours of my life.

Twitter is down. And I can’t tweet about my displeasure.

I genuinely feel bad for Dusty Baker.

Let me guess, you got back together with your ex?

Hey, remember when Carrie Underwood replaced Faith Hill on Sunday Night Football pregame? No. No, you don’t.

So, Carrie Underwood replaces Faith Hill on Sunday Night Football pregame. And no one notices.

Well, it looks like Bo Jackson ran out of savings.

Man, I really need to get laid. But sex makes babies. I need to…get a blow job? Fuck, at this point maybe I should just pay for it.

I need an extension on my book deadline. Which I never had in the first place. I’m really doing my best here, please love me anyway.