The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Hey, guys, so I’m trying to salvage something out of the colossal failure that is my life. I am once again unsuccessfully trying to expand the readership of my shitty writing. It’s ok, I’m not upset. Mainly because I got an awesome blow job last night. AWESOME.

So, vasectomies are a lot less than I thought. You can get one for around $500-$1000. Merry Christmas!!!

I think I’m gonna give up on the human race. Just kidding!!! I already did 🙂

Well, I’m currently working on the vagabond manifesto and I forgot how much I love boobs. JUST KIDDING!!!!!!! That would be ridiculous.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey! Big news!! UFYGMAYPMOGILAD is now offering a graduate program!!! I just got my master’s in You’ll Get Paid Slightly More to do Basically the Same Job Science!! Apply now!!!!

Apply Now!

Not hot, really dolled-up, bitchy rich women are like the worst thing ever.

I forgot how much I hate people. For like a day. I remembered.

Whoa, whoa, I would never just go out and meet someone and go back with her and without getting to know her at all, then just have sex with her. Unless I’m drunk. Then I usually have no problem doing it. What? Do you want me to lie to you?

“Ya know, chewing on ice means you’re sexually frustrated.”
“I’m sexually frustrated.”