The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Someone told me that I have pretty decent content, but I need to work on promotion, marketing, and branding. That sounds like a lot of fucking work, fuck that.

I know what I want my superpower to be. If someone starts kvetching to me endlessly, I want to be able to burn their face off with liquid hot magma. It would be so goddamn useful.

The whole nagging and holding the pussy hostage thing doesn’t work for me. I’ll rub one out and die alone before the trash can is even full.

I’ve had people tell me, “You know, Dave, being a college dropout is a difficult path.” And, “Dave, I like you and I like your writing, but being a writer is a difficult path.” Well, you know what? Life is a difficult path. Everything is fucking difficult, so I might as well do whatever the fuck I want.

I’m a sucker for lollipops.

I feel like if a girl has a tongue ring, she should be single. No? Is that rude?

I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I love boobs.

What are you talking about? I’m not fucking jaded.

We’ve come so far, but we’ve only just begun 🙂

Ok, I really, truly do not care where we eat lunch, not at all. I just want you to stop talking about it.