The Official Website of Dave Charlie

So, if one human year equals 7 dog years, then if your dog doesn’t see you for exactly one full day, that’s a week in his time. That’s why he’s so happy to see you!!! Or he’s just a stupid mutt.

I feel fat now.

Man, In-n-Out sounds really good right now. Adios!

I wonder what the Goo Goo Dolls singer is doing right now.

If you ever see me spending money impetuously, don’t be deceived. I am not a wealthy man. At the same time however, I have no wife, no kids, no 401k, and no health insurance. So there’s that.

If you’re a 7 when I’m hammered, that means you’re like a 4. Fuck, not only am I shallow, I’m mean. Fuck. I’m shallow and mean.

See the problem with a manager or agent for me, is when the business side believes that they control the creative side, that they decide who gets exposure etc, I say fuck that. Fuck your corporate, suit-clad bullshit, you don’t control shit. Well, you kinda do, but I’m gonna tell you to fuck yourselves anyway. In Hearts, this is called “shooting the moon.” If you need me, I’ll be at the soup kitchen.

I got an email from Amazon telling me I just made $10.30 off my book! Drinks on me!!!!! 😉 🙂 😀 😀 😀

The problem with condoms is, if you start to think about the physical implications of why you actually need them, you’re no longer in the mood.

Going to see a stripper is just like having a girlfriend, except you have to spend money if you want to get her naked. Shit, hmmmmm, I need to rephrase that.