The Official Website of Dave Charlie

If “Buck 65” ever comes out on some sort of entertainment stage of some kind that you are currently viewing, do yourself a favor and kill yourself first.

I’m actively looking into flights to Krakow.

In a world where PBR tall boys cost $9, I realize the relative cost of everything. My book is usually $14.99, but for the next 24 hours it costs $2.99. Ooooooo aaaaahhhhhh substantial discount!! Come flock!!!!! The water is warm!!!!

I’m going back to Amsterdam.

I’m like a toddler, if you just let me go wild for awhile and get it out of my system, eventually I’ll run out of energy and fall asleep.

Hmmm, Apple, have you thought about actually hiring some fucking coders, so in addition to everything looking pretty, iCloud ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKS and I don’t end up with 6 versions OF THE SAME NOTE. If Google can figure it out, so can you. But you won’t. You’re just gonna hire some more graphic designers in gay turtle necks to make my 6 identical notes look really streamlined and sexy. Thank you for sucking giant horse dick as your company slowly spirals out of control without Steve Jobs. I’m going to get the iPhone 5S anyway because I’m a giant moron and a masochist. Shut up and kiss me already.

I hate Comcast. I hate Comcast with a fiery, fiery passion. Out of all the fucking cities out there, you’d think that San Francisco, one of the biggest tech hubs in the world, would have decent wifi. But no, this is not the case. Instead we all have to bow to maniacal tyrant that is Comcast and get overcharged for shitty internet. Hello? Is there anyone else out there? Have you heard of capitalism? My communist internet company is fucking me in the ass over here, and you’re just sitting and watching. I don’t even have a good ass.

How come no one comments on my blog? Don’t you guys like me? No? You don’t like me? 😦 Why not? I like you 🙂

I value today more than I value tomorrow, I value tomorrow more than I value the day after that. I value you more than I value the person I’m going to meet tomorrow. At least until tomorrow, then we’ll see.

No, I’m not an actor. Actually, wait, I am. I’m an actor because I’m pretending not to be utterly disgusted by your obsequious devotion to false idols. Aaannndd scene.