The Official Website of Dave Charlie

I’m a terrible person. Don’t be friends with me.

Do you hate me? That’s ok, I hate me too.

It’s not that bad once you get used to it it’s not that bad once you get used to it it’s not that bad once you get used to it it’s not that bad once you get used to it it’s not that bad once you get used to it.

And they lived happily ever after. Apart. With joint custody.

I’m hot. Now I’m cold. Now I’m hot. Now I’m cold. Now I can never be satisfied with the temperature and it’s always inadequate in some way. Now I’m using satire to make fun of people.

Kansas City is in Kansas, right? Right? Cuz if not, that would be super weird. It is? Ok, phew, at least there are some things I can rely on.

When I’m using my cellphone/tablet/computer can you not fucking look at what I’m doing? Why? Because it doesn’t fucking concern you. Mind your own business. If you have any.

I feel like a broken record with déjà vu.

I’m having a bachelor party. Am I getting married? No. I’m just having a bachelor party. What’s the problem?

“So, you’re a doctor?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, you’re a chiropractor?”
“Yes.”
“So not really a doctor then, are we?”