The Official Website of Dave Charlie

If your generic, boring douche bag husband ever decides he would like to playfully give me a hard time about anything, you will be a widow. Ok, that’s a hyperbole. But there is truth to be derived from hyperbole. I promise 😉

“Don’t ever get the idea I am a poet; you can see me at the racetrack any day half drunk.” – Charles Bukowski

Rest in peace, Mr. Bukowski.

Look, I told you I was a writer, I never told you I wrote things you would like, respect, or understand.

What’s the difference between a stripper and a hooker? How much you’re willing to spend.

So, can I just have my friends pay a bunch of money to take me to some cool city and we all stay in a dope house or fancy hotel and party all weekend with liquor and strippers but then I just don’t get married afterward? That’s the only difference. Do you think my friends will go for that?

So, I went out in San Diego, and, well, I guess I forgot my tank top.

Listen to me very, very carefully. It’s not my fault your girlfriend is a a slut.

Well, San Diego girls are pretty damn hot, but I just can’t shake the “really fucking slutty” vibe. It very well may be totally misguided and erroneous, but it is undeniable nonetheless.

Goodbye Waze, you have been consumed by the Google empire.