The Official Website of Dave Charlie

What’s a good barometer for measuring atmospheric pressure?

Lorem ipsum.

If bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks, then dudes ain’t shit but douche bags and dicks. I think Dr. Dre and Mr. Dogg are making an unfair blanket statement. Up in here.

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss. Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cab while he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag. Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick and it’s all in my head but she’s touching his chest now he takes off her dress now let me go. And I just can’t look it’s killing me. And taking control.”

So, would you like to know what my title is at the company I work for? I got to pick it myself. I am the Chief Product Logistics Fulfillment Officer and President of Systems Oversight Regulation. How do you feel about that?

If you use snippets with your girlfriend when texting, is that bad?

You know those days where you just want to tell everyone to shut the fuck up? That was rhetorical

I have no words.

Look, engineering, I know we were engaged and we almost got married, but it wasn’t working out between us, this is the right thing, trust me, I wish you the best and I hope you find someone really special, but it’s just not going to be me. I’ve found someone else. And I really love writing. And she’s way more fun and awesomer and sluttier and drunker. Best of luck to you.

The cool thing about the type of writing I like to do is, I can literally live anywhere in the world and work any job. The not cool thing is, it makes approximately zero dollars and everyone thinks I’m out of my mind. Well, there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I love lunch so much. Mmmmmmmmmm