So, I was talking to this girl and she was saying something like, “yeah, well my brother went home and lived with our parents for awhile, to figure stuff out, ya know?” No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I have never moved back in with my parents, and I have always had a clear picture of what I want to do with my life.
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I need you to understand something. For the sake of my personal relationships and employment, I do not exist.
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I like my women how I like my coffee: hot, strong, and filled with my cream. Mmmmm, that’s sexy.
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“You didn’t add any tags to your post.
Find out why tags are important.”
How about you shut the fuck up, WORDPRESS, or I’ll add some tags from my balls to your face? Can I get shut down for this? Hey, look, WordPress, I’m only kidding, I still like you very very much and I want to stay friends. Let’s keep in touch every couple months for a year or so and then we can talk less and less and less until you get married and I can secretly pine for you for the rest of my life
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The Bears are playing at the Raiders in the NFL preseason on August 23rd. Who wants to go to Oakland with me? To a Raiders game. Rooting for the other team. I’ll buy your ticket. Guys? Are you there? Guys?
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“Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.” -Rage. Ok, that was aggressive. I’m sorry. But I do feel that way. But I don’t want it to make you not want to snuggle with me because I’m still a great snuggler.
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Raccoons can see in the dark and have opposable thumbs? Raccoons are going to take over the world.
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Who came up with the simile, “sleep like a baby”? It’s a stupidest thing ever, those little terrorists don’t fucking sleep.
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The fat girl with a really cute face and nice tits. There’s a market for that.
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