The Official Website of Dave Charlie

So, you’re telling me that a pizza margarita has no booze in it? What the fuck is that shit?

I like you, like less than a friend.

My tummy hurts.

Well, my iPhone gets AMBER alerts. Good to know.

You’re scaring me. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. Who are you?

Awesome.

I used to dislike rap. I used to dislike country. EDM has made me realize the relativity of everything, and I really, really like rap and country now.

I’m having a pretty good time partying with rich kids and their parents’ money.

If you’re a guy and you think you might be bisexual, I want you to explore your sexuality. But it’s not gonna happen with me. If you’re a girl and you think you might be bisexual, I want you to explore your sexuality. And I would love to help out any way I can.

I’m gonna be a great uncle. That was ambiguous. I’m gonna be an excellent uncle.