The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Hello, I have deep qualms about marriage and I’m pretty damn sure I don’t want to have children, but would you like to hang out just me and you with no contracts or external obligations? If you need to think about it I understand.

“The A students work for the C students & drop outs and the B students teach.”

The problem is when I try to grow a hipster mustache, I just end up looking like an 80s porn star. And people with small children give me funny looks.

I like my women how I like my single malt scotch. Aged 18 years and on ice. —Not really, I just thought it was funny. I don’t really hang out with people who do hard drugs.

If I ever buy a p-coat, please shoot me in the face.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I hate being facetious.

Ummm, your cat’s looking at me weird.

I forgot how bad the gin hangover is. I remember now.

Why, why am I utterly obsessed with this?

Security guard at the new office.