The Official Website of Dave Charlie

I heard there is a shortage of people who hear there is a shortage of people working at a certain profession and go flocking over like lemmings. JK! I didn’t hear that.

I’m not cynical, the world’s just fucked up and I’m normal 🙂

You know those girls who are always, ALWAYS calling their boyfriends assholes? You asshole! You’re such an asshole! Why are you such an asshole?? Ok, if he’s such an asshole, why don’t you just leave? And if you stay with him, what does that say about you?

Girls, listen to me. Dolphin sex is not cool, not cool at all. Look, he loves you and does a lot for you and makes a lot of sacrifices, so if he wants to experiment a little in bed, you should let him.

Prop 65, you can shut the fuck up. Yes, everything causes cancer, thank you so very, very much. Do you know what else causes cancer?  Continuously fretting about how you can perpetuate your bleak, meaningless existence. I know!!! Crazy right???

No, I don’t want to add any fucking tags, fuck you, WordPress, I hate you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. 

Feeling sad? Don’t worry, we’ll all be dead soon anyway, cheer up!

Ummmm, so…happy hour 3pm-10pm everyday with $2.50 drafts?? What’s the catch??? The catch is you become an alcoholic, destroy your liver, and ruin all your personal relationships.

Wow, moving to San Francisco has made me realize what’s it’s like to be a girl. Tons of dudes want to sleep with you, and you get to say, “neener neener neener, you can’t have it! But like why don’t you express interest and I’ll be kinda polite and you can give me some discounts and free stuff?” Fabulousss!!

“If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it.” – Tennessee Williams