The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Person: “What did you do last night?”
Me: “My friend took me to an Avicii concert.”
Person: “Oh cool, how many songs did he play?”
Me: “Ummm, one, three hour song…I don’t think I understand the question.”

Holy fucking fuck balls, fuck, shit, piss, ass, cock, motherfucker!!!!!!. Oh man, I needed that, we’ll talk about it later.

“If I hadn’t made me, I would’ve been made somehow. If I hadn’t assembled myself, I’d have fallen apart by now. If I hadn’t made me, I’d be more inclined to bow, powers that be would have swallowed me up but that’s more than I can allow. If you let them make you, they’ll make you papier-mâché, at a distance you’re strong, until the wind comes then you crumble and blow away. If you let them fuck you, there will be no foreplay. Rest assured, they’ll screw you complete til your ass is blue and gray. You should make amends with you, if only for better health. But if you really want to live, why not try and make yourself?” –Brandon Boyd

Tonight, I will give birth to Dave #3.

Just because I’m reticent doesn’t mean I don’t care. You’ll know if I don’t give a fuck. I’ll draw you a diagram.

Yeah, your mom’s being immature.

Wow, _______ is so much better when I don’t have it for awhile.

For the love of God, get a match.com or eHarmony account.

This is like the scariest picture I’ve ever seen.