The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Yeah, your fake boobs look great, very natural. Like balloons stapled to your chest. But like really high quality balloons and really high quality staples. Definitely worth the monetary cost and the physical recovery. I’m totally on board with your decision making. 100%

Also, I want you to know that despite my sardonic, caustic, and often arrogant tone, I want you to know that deep, deep down I truly hate myself.

First on the agenda: stats. Oh, my stats are low? Not that many views? Only a couple of followers? How about go fuck yourself, your loss. Fuck stats, you can call me ignorant, but it depends on what you want to accomplish, and for me, fretting about stats is a fucking joke. So, if you like rainbows and sunshine and cotton candy, read my blog 🙂 Otherwise, fuck you, your parents never loved you.

I think it’s a Dave Charlie kinda night.

Just to clear something up, when I say “HST” there’s a 100% chance I’m talking about Hunter S. Thompson and not Harry S. Truman.

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.” -HST

How much is that doggie in the window? Seriously, I want that dog. Sell him to me.

Wait, why am I giving all my ideas away for free? Because they suck anyway, hooray!

Ok, so I’m going to write a book with a protagonist who is a psychic. Her name? Claire Voyant. Oh yeah 🙂

So, I walked past a professional psychic’s shop, and there was a number to call to schedule an appointment. Why the fuck do I need to schedule an appointment?? You’re a psychic!! You should fucking know when I’m coming in.