The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Ok, I’m only gonna say this once. Zac Efron did a kinda sorta okay halfway decent job in The Paperboy. There, I said it.

The early bird gets the worm. The insomniac alcoholic bird chills with the early bird for a little while and hopes he’ll save him some worm.

Well, I found out today that I should probably move to San Francisco. No sprawl, public transport, you can walk places, it’s on the water, it’s very liberal obviously and will accept a psychopath like me. It’s like a European city that speaks English and isn’t filled with quite as much cigarette smoke. Plus, assuming the male to female ratio is still roughly 1 to 1, the presence of the gay population will increase my odds with women. Fabulousssss

My dad is more of a wine drinker than anything else, but one night he was out of wine and he looked up in the cupboard and picked up my fifth of whisky and asked me, “is it ok if I have some of your whisky?” I replied, “su casa es su casa.” By living in your house I hereby forgo all rights to ownership and privacy. I will however suggest that you knock before entering my room, for your sake.

Well, it seems like my life is kinda going down the same path as Bradley Cooper’s in Silver Linings Playbook. The manic depressive psycho who has to live with his parents because he can’t function in the real world. Well, the silver lining is, if I buy some running shoes and a trash bag, I should meet a hot slutty crazy ass widow soon. Yay!!

Sunday? Hmmm, God wants me to be happy, right?

It’s a metaphor.

The worth ethic and discipline my father possesses is almost frightening to me. I think I was adopted.

Hey, did you guys get my snapchat?? The one I sent to all of you? Did you get it? Did you appreciate all it had to offer? Ok, good!!!!

“So, what kind of stuff do you write mainly?”
“Ummm, short stories. Like REALLY short.”