The Official Website of Dave Charlie

I met this banker named Saul Goldstein. So, his surname is Goldstein, but what’s his Christian name?

So, Sean Connery came into Malibu Yogurt one time when I was working there and ordered a medium cookies’n’cream. The normal price for a medium was $3.50, and I charged him $4.50. He pointed this out and asked why he had to pay more. I replied, “There’s a one dollar ‘sir charge'”! Fuck, I can’t stop, seriously, somebody help me 😦

So, I’ve got this robot friend who is very technologically advanced. He’s got a super fast CPU and can actually diagnose and even treat his own mechanical problems. He’s got pneumatic tires and can pump them up internally. And he’s got an HDTV for a head. I asked him what his New Years’ resolution is going to be, he said 1080p. Wow, all that for some stupid joke?? Yes.

So, I’m working on this short story right now that really utilizes dark humor, like pitch black. But the problem is it’s so cynical it’s depressing me just proofreading it. Maybe I should stop working on it. I mean, I’m not going to, but I’m just saying MAYBE I should.

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I don’t know why I still have any

I was talking to this woman, and I asked her what she did for a living. She said she’s a homemaker. I was very impressed, wood and concrete construction is grueling work.

Just bought blurred lines by Robin Thicke #ihatemyselfbutgoddammitthatsongiscatchy