The Official Website of Dave Charlie

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. And in your desperate, yearning, confused soul.

Ok, guys, there’s something I want to talk to you about. I know I’ll say “oh, I’m a ‘writer’ blah blah blah” and I can sound confident at times, but I want you to know that I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I do not have a goddamn clue, I’m just completely making it up as I go along. That being said, I’m fucking doing it anyway. Whatever that may be.

How do you bridge the gap from mildly amusing your buddies on Facebook to actually accomplishing something as a writer? Maybe you can’t. We’ll find out.

Hi! I would like to welcome everyone from Dave’s Facebook page. Great to have you! But I still hate all of you immensely.

Did you know that when the Dutch were first thinking about constructing a red light district in Amsterdam they had some doubts about if it would be financially successful. So, they hired a consultant and showed him their business plan, and do you know what he told them? “If you build it, they will cum.”

Everybody likes boobs. Come on, who doesn’t like boobs? Ok, people who like boobs: 1. All males. 2. Babies. 3. Anyone receiving a hug. 4. All females with the exception of women who feel insecure about how small their boobs are and dislike them out of bitterness and jealousy. Ergo, everybody likes boobs. Q.E.D.

“I would rather stumble down a barren path that leads to nowhere than deny my instinct and curiosity.” – guess who

You sleep in the bed you make, or don’t make. Or you don’t sleep at all. I have no idea where I’m going with this metaphor.

Anderson Silva, I have no words.

Yes, I realize I’m not funny in person. I’m also not a bitterly sarcastic asshole. It’s a trade off.