The Official Website of Dave Charlie

Well, apparently girls get turned off when you start talking about your philosophical theories with them. I guess that’s how Plato got the adjective “platonic” named after him. Fuck my life. Why am I here?

The cool thing about being unemployed is you have a lot of free time. The not cool thing is you’re a fucking broke loser. Isn’t honesty fun?? Hooray for honesty!!

The fact that you have to spell it out speaks volumes.

I’m going to hell, but first I’m going to make fun of your diction.

I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and I spit it out. Not only am I spoiled, I’m also ungrateful.

If I am ever dancing naked for one dollar bills, please shoot me in the face.

The problem with being a stripper is your job skills are only marketable for like 10-15 years.

You may think that stripping is a base, talentless job, but it’s not. Have you seen some of the shit they do on that fucking pole? It’s fucking impressive.

Hi, Miss Stripper, it’s a business doing pleasure with you.

Would you rather have a paper stack or a megaphone?