The Official Website of Dave Charlie

We’re gonna talk, I promise. I’m not giving up on US. WE are worth fighting for.

We need to talk.

22 hour layover at Dusseldorf airport. 1 litre of duty free Jaegermeister. Godspeed, gentlemen.

That’s all she wrote. For now.

Ok, aerosol cans don’t contain CFCs anymore, but I’m serious about the first half of the post. And there is almost no way skin cancer is an aphrodisiac, though that is hardly the most important sentiment that can be derived from everything I’ve just said.

Ok, did like one girl kinda admit one time that she kinda liked the smell of Axe and so guys just took it, ran with it, and drove it into the fucking ground? WE HAVE A HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER. Girls aren’t going to want to have sex with you if they have skin cancer.

I wonder what Lori Beth Denberg is up to these days.

Today someone asked me if because you capitalize Catholicism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, etc, if you’re supposed to capitalize “atheism.” No. You don’t. Unless it’s at the beginning of a sentence. Why not? Because it not a fucking religion. That would be like having an Anarchist party. They’re mutually exclusive concepts.

Jennifer Lawrence is cute, ya know, like the girl next door. If you lived next to a donut factory. If I ever talked to her I think would say every number as a denomination of a baker’s dozen. “How old are you?” “2 baker’s dozen.” “What time is it?” “0.615384615384615 baker’s dozen PM.”

The number of times per week I’m sitting by myself, on my phone, just dying of laughter is probably disturbingly high.