I think I have a problem because when people eat chips near me and their stupid little fucking mouths are just crunching and crunching and crunching on their little stupid fucking stupid chips over and over and over and over and over and they’re licking their stupid lips and crunching away, mouth open just sucking down saturated fat and cholesterol I just want to suffocate them with their own fucking chip bag until I hear the death rattle through the non-polyurethane plastic film. Oooooooo, ok, I need to cool it. I’m officially cooling it now. No need to call Scotland Yard, I am chill.
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