Category Archives: Uncategorized

The first rule of being a writer is, you must write. There are no other rules.

Ok, look guys, 7 is not a “lucky” roll. Let’s break this down. Two dice, 6 sides each. 6×6=36 possible outcomes with a minimum sum of 2 and a maximum sum of 12. Here’s a handy dandy chart to help you out.

So for each sum there is a set number of combinations to get there. This graph will be useful.

Therefore, at 6/36 or 16.66667%, 7 has the most combinations and thus the highest probability of being rolled. So you’re not hoping for “lucky number 7,” you’re really just wanting “most likely number 7.”

Now, please pass in your homework, your test is on Thursday, and you NEED to bring in a SIGNED permission slip by Friday if you want to go on the field trip next week. I have sex with my students.

I don’t trust babies. They appear so cute and innocent looking and helpless. I feel like it’s just an act, like they’re up to something. Hatching an evil plan. Like maybe a plan to increase drastically in size and bankrupt their parents. I don’t know

At what age to single woman start to get a little uneasy and really feel society’s fist pressing down on them and start to hear their biological clocks ticking a little bit louder? 27? Is it around 27? That’s my guess. Shit, my Y chromosome is the best thing that ever happened to me

When I’m sitting in traffic is when I realize how much I love gay people. Why? Because they can’t fucking procreate

An “s” is not the only difference between hotel and hostel.

So, my former boss was trying to get me to sign up for a 401K and I was like whoa, I don’t have the stamina for that, I would need to get back in the gym and then start off with a 3K or a 5K and work my way up. Fitness freaks, am I right??

We all know the “Rat Pack” –
Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Joey Bishop, and Peter Lawford.

The “Brat Pack” –
Anthony Michael Hall, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Rob Lowe, Ally Sheedy, and Judd Nelson.

And the “Frat Pack” –
Steve Carell, Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Jack Black, Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller, and Owen Wilson.

Now, I would like to introduce to you my contribution to this game. It’s at least slightly racist and definitely hilarious, I give you, the “Gat Pack”! –
50 Cent, DMX, Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Ice-T, LL Cool J, Common, Ludacris, T.I., and Eminen.

Tip your bartender and have a great night!

My finger is technically not opaque. It is technically translucent. E.T. phone home!

I’m feeling: Annoyed
I’m watching: The world devolve around me
I’m reading: Nothing but Facebook statuses, tweets, and celebrity gossip magazines
I’m listening to: Kim Kardashian talk about real issues
I’m drinking: the Kool-aid
I’m eating: Shit