Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nevermind, it’s just Madrid metro.

Aha! Phew! A Target!! I really need some toiletries and clothes and food.

Someone may have thought of this already, but if not, I want to make a porno called, “Lawrence of My Labia.”

And holy fucking shit, if you ever tell me to go back and finish my degree, I will rip your larynx out, poke strategically placed holes in it, and play your throat like a clarinet as you bleed out.

Yeah, any of you who “subscribed” to email notifications, you’re regretting that decision now, aren’t you? 🙂

Goddammit, does anyone know how to design a blog? I’ll give you a blow job.

My coffee is getting cold and my beer is getting warm. Why must the world conspire against me?

Just a note to my international audience, I use the term “soccer” to refer to football, and “football” to refer to American football. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it’s going to be. I will extend an olive branch though. You’re right. Soccer should be called football worldwide, and American football should have come up with its own fucking name.

I hate “flopping” in professional sports. Soccer players are arguably the worst, followed closely by basketball players. Even football players do it. But of all the sports out there, if there were to be one sport where I would think the players would be above the theatrics, it would be ice hockey. I thought those players would be badass and undramatic enough to refrain. Until I watched the NHL playoffs this year. And I was wrong. I guess there are actors in every sport. Maybe rugby is still pure, I don’t know.

My prolonged bachelorhood and disinterest in marriage has caused some people to tell me that I lack maturity. Well, how about this. How about I indeed have maturity, a tremendous amount of maturity, because I know myself well enough to not sign up for something I don’t want. You still may say that marriage and children are what make a man mature, but I say it’s a man understanding himself and having the spine to live his life how he wants. How do you feel about that?