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Hi. Listen to me. Please just hear me out. Ok. I know nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Ok. Just making sure that’s clear.

Someone told me I should take a screenwriting class so I can learn what’s supposed to be accomplished in each act. I didn’t take the class, but I figured it out anyway. Act I, I write whatever I want and you suck my dick. Act II, I write whatever I want and you suck my dick. Act III and IV are very similar to I and II. Act V, Dave doesn’t ever sell a single screenplay and it doesn’t matter because he wrote exactly what the fuck he wanted and had a splendid time 🙂

One day I will have to choose. One day I will have to choose between writing and something else I care about very much. It may break my heart, but at least I have something to write about. I don’t expect you to understand, I don’t even fully understand myself.

“That sounds just splendid! Remington, dear, would you care to join us?”
“Why, mother, I would love to attend, but I have a prior engagement to play polo with Reginald and Beaumont. Another time?”
“Oh, ’tis a pity. Well, do be careful and I hope to see you for afternoon tea.”
“Indeed.”

And if I deliberately do not have children and choose to live a selfish, hedonistic life, you can’t say shit. In fact, I’m doing you guys a favor. Overpopulation is a huge concern. In 2000 we had 6.08 billion people on this planet, now in 2013 we have 7.17 billion. That’s extra space and resources for you and your family. You really can’t say shit. In fact, I expect a formal thank you from everyone in the form of gift baskets filled with assorted wines and cheeses. You’re welcome.

Holy crap, with domesticated animals and babies it’s the same shit, they have various different noises and gestures they make that say basically the same thing over and over again: “I need I need I need I need I need I need I need.” I don’t give a shit what you need. What I need is you to stop needing things from me.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” – George Bernard Shaw 

But I still love you, I just also resent you. Hug? 🙂

If you ever approach me really calmly and in a nonthreatening way, and say something about how you are looking out for my best interests and you really think I should go back to college and finish my degree, I’m going to take out my phone, log onto my blog, and read this word for word:
No. I’m not going back. Ever. Fuck that, what do I need to learn? On an ideologic level, what the fuck do I need to learn from finishing a civil engineering degree? Nothing. So, it would just be to appease your pedantic adherence to social standards. How about, go fuck yourself. Metaphorically.

The cool part about never having to drive is, you can always drink. The bad part about never having to drive is, you can always drink. It’s a ddouble edge sword.