Category Archives: Uncategorized

Sunday? Hmmm, God wants me to be happy, right?

It’s a metaphor.

The worth ethic and discipline my father possesses is almost frightening to me. I think I was adopted.

Hey, did you guys get my snapchat?? The one I sent to all of you? Did you get it? Did you appreciate all it had to offer? Ok, good!!!!

“So, what kind of stuff do you write mainly?”
“Ummm, short stories. Like REALLY short.”

I met this banker named Saul Goldstein. So, his surname is Goldstein, but what’s his Christian name?

So, Sean Connery came into Malibu Yogurt one time when I was working there and ordered a medium cookies’n’cream. The normal price for a medium was $3.50, and I charged him $4.50. He pointed this out and asked why he had to pay more. I replied, “There’s a one dollar ‘sir charge'”! Fuck, I can’t stop, seriously, somebody help me 😦

So, I’ve got this robot friend who is very technologically advanced. He’s got a super fast CPU and can actually diagnose and even treat his own mechanical problems. He’s got pneumatic tires and can pump them up internally. And he’s got an HDTV for a head. I asked him what his New Years’ resolution is going to be, he said 1080p. Wow, all that for some stupid joke?? Yes.

So, I’m working on this short story right now that really utilizes dark humor, like pitch black. But the problem is it’s so cynical it’s depressing me just proofreading it. Maybe I should stop working on it. I mean, I’m not going to, but I’m just saying MAYBE I should.

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