Category Archives: Uncategorized

When it comes to women, I don’t like being smothered. Unless it’s with a pillow. And she’s naked. And straddling me and bouncing up and down and my penis is inside one of her fleshy orifices.

I also find strippers disgusting. That’s where alcohol comes in. Hooray for honesty!!!

I don’t know if you’re stupid or you think this is all just a big silly joke, but I LIKE STRIPPERS. I really do. I like them. I like hookers too, I’ve had one. Well actually it was two, but at the same time. No, I don’t want to get married. I don’t want commitment and I hate children. Are we starting to understand now? Honestly, how thick is your fucking skull? Pretty thick. But not thicker than this stack of ones I’m about to blow at the Hustler Club.

Sorry, just been busy. I’ll rape your newsfeed now if that’s ok.

Remind me to change my marriage metaphor slightly. Same basic concept, but it’s gonna be way sexier.

I am going to rape your newsfeed so hard this weekend. So hard.

ATM in the banking industry and ATM in the adult film industry mean totally different things. Totally different.

What the hell does “melax” mean?? That’s so stupid!!! It’s not even a fucking word!!!!!!!

The whole self-loathing writer thing is so cliche, I know, I know. And for that I hate myself even more. It’s a vicious cycle.

Here’s what’s gonna happen if you steal my ideas: absolutely nothing.