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Not hot, really dolled-up, bitchy rich women are like the worst thing ever.

I forgot how much I hate people. For like a day. I remembered.

Whoa, whoa, I would never just go out and meet someone and go back with her and without getting to know her at all, then just have sex with her. Unless I’m drunk. Then I usually have no problem doing it. What? Do you want me to lie to you?

“Ya know, chewing on ice means you’re sexually frustrated.”
“I’m sexually frustrated.”

This is how I will sum up San Diego: Hi, you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Hi! You are now the hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. HELLOOO!!! I’ve seen some hot girls down here, but YOU, my darling, are the hottest girl I have EVER seen in my entire life. No, no, please don’t speak, you’ll ruin this.

Oh, you’re still here? One sec.

P.P.S. I hate you.

Ok, yes, I have deep qualms with and stark doubts about marriage, but I changed the angle at which I was looking at it, and I think I understand better. That despite this fickle world, despite all the volatility and change storming around us, despite the uncertainty of what the future may hold, despite all of this, you know, you are utterly, utterly convinced deep down, till death do us part. I’m marrying writing. It sounds super douchey, but I’m gonna marry whoever I want fuck you. So, here we go…..it’s done! I’m a married man, fuck off. P.S. I’m serious.

Get something through your thick skull. I’m. Not. Going. To. Stop. Not for you or anyone else. I wrote this a year ago:
“The man who is so convinced of something that he is willing to give up everything, including his life, for what he believes in, that’s the man you should keep your eye on, for better or worse. It’s the man with the backup plan who you can ignore.”
So. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And kiss me already.