Category Archives: Uncategorized

Alright, this Facebook link can fuck off. Testing testing

Apparently, I am “pragmatically reckless.” That sounds about right.

Welcome to Dave Charlie’s Wild Ride. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. If you are pregnant or nursing, we do not recommend you partake. Also, if you’re a fucking douche bag or you are stupid as fuck you should probably go home. If you have back or neck problems that sucks for you. And lastly, if at any point you are displeased with this ride you can fuck off forever. Thanks for joining us!! Have fun!!!

Have you heard of the condition sweeping the nation that has been dubbed “LUCAS”? It stands for Lengthened Umbilical Cord Attachment Syndrome. You see, what happens is children of affluent parents grow accustomed to a certain lifestyle, then after they graduate from their private universities and start working for a modest salary they cannot maintain the same lifestyle with just this salary. So, what happens is they continue to accept money from their parents causing LUCAS. LUCAS can persist all through your 20s and, in some extreme cases, well into your 30s. The consequences of this horrendous disease can include massive scarring and a lifetime of problems. HOWEVER, if caught in its early stages it can be treated and OFTEN CURED! All you have to do is stop sucking your dad’s dick.

If I ask you a question and your girlfriend answers, you’re dead to me.

I think every company should have a hot girl in lingerie walking around the office all day. We’ll call her a “business model.” I need to find a good business model.

I’ll make you a deal. If I am ever respected for any reason, for anything I might possibly have done, I promise to write about how fucking stupid it is.

I wanted to cheat on my boyfriend, but I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t, but now I feel weird and conflicted about my relationship.

Omg, you played high school football?? Let me suck your dick! 10 years ago.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just need someone who doesn’t suck. It’s my little quirk.