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I’m a recovering sexaholic. I am currently recovering from a crazy whipped cream choking orgy, took a lot out of me.

Ok, you see, it’s not that guys just stop “getting” blow jobs once they’re married, it’s that they stop WANTING them. After you get married your priorities shift. You’re now doing more important things with your life, like raising children and providing for your family and leaving the world a better place than it was before, and you don’t have time for silly things like blow jobs. I mean, what would you rather do, raise a child alongside the love of your life, your life partner and best friend, or have some hot slut with big, fat tits slobbering all over your cock until you shoot a load of thick, warm semen into her mouth and then she swallows it all and continues to work you down nice and slow while she fondles your balls and your perineum until you go limp and softly drift off into a euphoric sleep?  Exactly, it’s all about priorities.

So, apparently I have a “nontraditional lifestyle.” I’ve just been calling it ” doing whatever the fuck I want shut up for fuck’s sake.” Whatever you wanna call it I guess.

Honey, I’m home 🙂

Read some Bukowski and chill the fuck out.

Don’t look a gift mouth in the horse. Just accept that mouth regardless of how it looks.

Oh man, I’m super tired, I’m gonna sleep like a dead baby tonight.

Yep, life is beautiful, just like your genitals.

Sassy turns into bitchy in approximately three make out sessions or one blow job, whichever comes first.

I suck at LIFE. I don’t even really know how to play.