Category Archives: Uncategorized

Kansas City is in Kansas, right? Right? Cuz if not, that would be super weird. It is? Ok, phew, at least there are some things I can rely on.

When I’m using my cellphone/tablet/computer can you not fucking look at what I’m doing? Why? Because it doesn’t fucking concern you. Mind your own business. If you have any.

I feel like a broken record with déjà vu.

I’m having a bachelor party. Am I getting married? No. I’m just having a bachelor party. What’s the problem?

“So, you’re a doctor?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, you’re a chiropractor?”
“Yes.”
“So not really a doctor then, are we?”

Such great hair.

There are certain things you just don’t skimp on. Boots is one of those things. If you’re not willing to fork over the cash, don’t buy anything at all. Also leather jackets. And condoms.

Baby, that’s all I need.

And two zigzags