Category Archives: Uncategorized

I wonder what kind of relationship Ke$ha has with her father.

Why do butterflies get such a reputation for being social?

Here’s a fun snippet I came up with today, when I type “dgaf” this is what pops up: “Hey, babe, sorry, can’t make it tonight, have to work late, love you, call you tomorrow.”
Clever, right?

Yes, I’m being flippant right now and yes I realize that I’m also being at least slightly offensive, but if you ever find yourself on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, Way, Street, Parkway, or Avenue, just be careful.

If I’m texting back and forth with a girl and she uses any more than 2 consecutive exclamation marks, it’s over between us.

Guys, I know what I want for my birthday. I want a dental insurance. Thanks, you guys are the best.

Hey, you remind me of my ex. Wanna dance?

I’m in love with Phil Emery.

Having a 7 foot tall black guy in the entourage is like the best thing ever. Any time there is a verbal altercation, all we have to do is point and say, “he’s with us.”

I am legitimately a crazy person.