Category Archives: Uncategorized

I hate “artists.” I hate them so much. Shut up about your “artistic process” and how you draw inspiration from blah blah blah, and you can’t “work” unless you have the “ideal ambiance.” I don’t want to hear about your pompous dependence on your own supposed suffering, I fucking hate you.

I run a full service Fuck You Agency. Full service 😉

Some girl told me I’m not a good role model for the youth of America. Fuck that bitch, what does she know?? Right?!!

You could die tomorrow. Thought you should know.

Your best friend fucked your girlfriend. Just kidding! Maybe. You tell me.

Hey, it’s been awhile, did you miss me? Good, I didn’t miss you either. So, I’ve had a stressful day, and I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’m going to rape your newsfeed. And I mean rape it. Hard. So ummmm, shall we?

Can I be your silly American friend?? Por favor! Bitte! S’il vous plaît!! Per favore!! Guacamole!!

If you’re going to hell, like this post. Come on, it’ll be fun, we’ll barbecue everyday and get super tan.

Can I kill an intern? They’re not real people, right?

So, I decided to do a cleanse. No booze, no caffeine. It started out really great, then I found out about this thing called “caffeine withdrawals.” I hate everything.