Category Archives: Uncategorized

I just saw a bearded lady showing cleavage. I just saw a bearded lady showing cleavage. I just saw a bearded lady showing cleavage. That’s not a metaphor or anything. I’m still processing it. Fuck, this is going to take like 3 therapy sessions. So, she/he is going to cost me like 600 bucks. Thanks a lot, RANDY.

So, Fidelity Investments sent me my 401k back. They said it was too low of a balance to maintain. They cut me a check for $9.67. Drinks on me.

Alright, alright, that’s enough, goodnight. How about a goodnight kiss? Just a little peck on the cheek? Just an itty-bitty one? Ok, ha, I’m done, I swear.

Jenny McCarthy, I hope you get rubella and die.

Well, I found out two things today:
1. Around the age of 26 is when the human brain is fully finished developing and people realize they’re not invincible.
2. I’m not invincible.

Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched. Hmmm, I don’t count my chickens until they’ve hatched and grown into chickens.

So, I know I previously talked about how I prefer blow jobs because they’re less intimate. Also, you get to be lazy, feel dominant, and there’s no such thing as mouth babies.

So, I met this really cool guy at the gym, he said there’s this new cool app called “Grindr.” He says you can meet a lot of really awesome, friendly people on it. Any of you guys try it?

Ok, I’ve got a great business idea. I met this guy in Rome who can get me cheap Egyptian pyramid models. I take the models to investors and show them what a great product we have and convince them to invest lots of money into the company. But then I don’t actually put the money into manufacturing the product, instead I find some new investors who don’t know the first investors and convince them to do the same. Then I’ll pay the first investors with the money from the second investors! And I’ll skim a little off the top and keep doing this until I’m rich! What do you guys think??

Another epic WordPress quote:
“The first step in blogging is not writing them but reading them.” – Jeff Jarvis
Ok, Jeffrey, how about you suck my dick and then we’ll see how we feel?