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Life is like repeatedly jabbing a pencil into your abdomen. Sometimes I don’t see the point.

I’d rather be Doc Holliday than Wyatt Earp. I’d rather be the Sundance Kid than Butch Cassidy.

I have a very important general life question for you guys. Do you know the difference between “reply” and “reply all”? If not, what you need to do is forge a brand that says “I’m a moron” and heat it up to approximately 700 degrees. Then press it into your forehead firmly and hold it there for three to five seconds. After the wound heals, go to http://www.google.com and type in “reply vs. reply all.” I sincerely hope you can take it from there.

“It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here? What better time than now? All hell, can’t stop us now.” –Rage

Yes, boobs are fun. But do you know what is more fun? Depth of personality. It’s just not as squishy.

Yeah, your fake boobs look great, very natural. Like balloons stapled to your chest. But like really high quality balloons and really high quality staples. Definitely worth the monetary cost and the physical recovery. I’m totally on board with your decision making. 100%

Also, I want you to know that despite my sardonic, caustic, and often arrogant tone, I want you to know that deep, deep down I truly hate myself.

First on the agenda: stats. Oh, my stats are low? Not that many views? Only a couple of followers? How about go fuck yourself, your loss. Fuck stats, you can call me ignorant, but it depends on what you want to accomplish, and for me, fretting about stats is a fucking joke. So, if you like rainbows and sunshine and cotton candy, read my blog 🙂 Otherwise, fuck you, your parents never loved you.

I think it’s a Dave Charlie kinda night.

Just to clear something up, when I say “HST” there’s a 100% chance I’m talking about Hunter S. Thompson and not Harry S. Truman.