Category Archives: Uncategorized

Challenge the status quo. I’ll repeat that. Challenge the status quo.

And you may ask yourself, why should I give a shit what this asshole thinks? And the answer is, you shouldn’t.

One and one and one is three

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

I’m very hardon myself.

Yeah, a monkey could do my job. But only if that monkey likes beer and swimming pools.

Yeah, fuck you 🙂

In order to promote my writing career I have decided to make a sex tape. With Oprah. Or Meryl Streep.

I dozed off for a little while and I had two dreams. One was an end of the world scenario, and the other was me alienating all of my friends and getting heckled by them publicly. Dreams are funny aren’t they??

Holy fuck, if one more person asks me if I am “working hard or hardly working,” I am like seriously gonna flip out. It was clever the first ten thousand times I heard it, now I just want to disembowel you and strangle you to death with your large intestine.