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Ok, everyone knows the “Oedipus Complex” but what’s it called if you just really love your mommy and you want her to hold you forever and ever? That’s called an “Oedipussy Complex.” Simple.

Pretty people doing ugly things? Easy, strip club. Ugly people doing pretty things? Ummm, soup kitchen? Maybe, probably. How the fuck should I know? Seriously. Don’t listen to me. Ever.

I don’t care how comfortable or ergonomic it is to wear those shoes with the individual toes, you look like a moron.

“Oooo yeah, they say life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.” That is a song lyric from “Jack and Diane” by John Mellencamp and in no way reflects how I actually feel about life, I just like the song and feel like posting its lyrics to my blog.

Someone asked me if I’m a “glass half full” or “glass half empty” kind of guy. I finished the rest of my beer and pointed, “the glass is clearly completely fucking empty, but at least I’m drunk.” Then I smirked at her. I think that pretty much epitomizes Dave Charlie 😉

Everyone says, “well, when you meet that special someone your mindset changes.” Yeah, it’s possible, but my guess is even if I did meet “that special someone” I’d probably just build up my walls even higher and end up driving her away. I’m just a hopeless romantic. Minus the romantic part.

My day working for a startup company: Show up at 11, work outside by the pool, have lunch, more work by the pool, swim/beer break, work some more, free dinner, go to a pub for a branding meeting. I might be able to do this for a little while, like until it gets hard.

Well, I kinda got a job sort of maybe

JK, I don’t smoke pot. I don’t really need it, I mean I can be lazy, think about weird things, and stuff my face with junk food without it.

Isn’t it funny how ‘naked’ and ‘baked’ don’t rhyme? In related news, I am both of these right now.