Category Archives: Uncategorized

When you give a mouse a cookie, guess fucking what?

I just watched a porno with a girl on her knees giving a blow job, and she had a silver cross dangling from her neck. It’s a good thing God doesn’t know about oral sex, and there’s nothing in the bible about cameras, otherwise she might be doing something immoral.

When Gwen Stefani wrote “Spiderwebs,” caller ID obviouslyyyy hadn’t been invented yet.

Fuck, I’m going to pull a literary Ryan Leaf. Or probably more like a Cade McNown.

So, I should like probably update this more. I’m kinda blowing it here.

“There’s a dark and a troubled side of life. There’s a bright and a sunny side too. Though we meet with the darkest of strife, the sunny side we also may view.”

What do they mean? Like Barbie dolls and hair clips?

Ok, I’ll make you a deal. If I ever turn into a hamster, I’ll buy a Kia Soul.

If I’m going to be a floundering degenerate, then I’m going to flounder to some cool places.

Why is the color “lime green” named as such? It’s not the color of actual limes.