Category Archives: Uncategorized

We’re all crazy, some people are just better at hiding it. And others don’t hide it at all and actually choose to broadcast it over the Internet 🙂

What’s Victoria’s Secret? That you won’t look as good as the girls who model the merchandise. Shhhhhhh, don’t tell!!!!!!

If I had a girlfriend named Robin I would call her, “Rockin’ Robin,” “Red Robin,” “Round Robin,” anddddd then I don’t think she’d be my girlfriend anymore.

Ok, think of it this way. There are plenty of worse things I could be spending my money on other than strippers. Like heroin, or cocaine, or guns, or dynamite, or slaves, or suitcases made of African children. So while I might not be a GOOD person, I’m not a totally wicked and depraved person either. Small victories.

Some people have told me I need to be more positive. Fuck those guys!!!! They don’t know shit!!!!!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. And in your desperate, yearning, confused soul.

Ok, guys, there’s something I want to talk to you about. I know I’ll say “oh, I’m a ‘writer’ blah blah blah” and I can sound confident at times, but I want you to know that I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I do not have a goddamn clue, I’m just completely making it up as I go along. That being said, I’m fucking doing it anyway. Whatever that may be.

How do you bridge the gap from mildly amusing your buddies on Facebook to actually accomplishing something as a writer? Maybe you can’t. We’ll find out.

Hi! I would like to welcome everyone from Dave’s Facebook page. Great to have you! But I still hate all of you immensely.

Did you know that when the Dutch were first thinking about constructing a red light district in Amsterdam they had some doubts about if it would be financially successful. So, they hired a consultant and showed him their business plan, and do you know what he told them? “If you build it, they will cum.”