Category Archives: Uncategorized

Everybody likes boobs. Come on, who doesn’t like boobs? Ok, people who like boobs: 1. All males. 2. Babies. 3. Anyone receiving a hug. 4. All females with the exception of women who feel insecure about how small their boobs are and dislike them out of bitterness and jealousy. Ergo, everybody likes boobs. Q.E.D.

“I would rather stumble down a barren path that leads to nowhere than deny my instinct and curiosity.” – guess who

You sleep in the bed you make, or don’t make. Or you don’t sleep at all. I have no idea where I’m going with this metaphor.

Anderson Silva, I have no words.

Yes, I realize I’m not funny in person. I’m also not a bitterly sarcastic asshole. It’s a trade off.

Yes, hi, Miss Cougar, sorry, but you’re about 25 years out of my romantic partner age range. Just a pesky 25 years, I know. Like when you were datable I was in diapers, no big deal.

I’m going to hell. Who wants to carpool?

It’s 10 o’clock at night and I’m sitting in stop-and-go on the 101. There better be a goddamn body count is all I gotta say. I’m sorry, is that morbid? Well I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m feeling kind of fucking morbid right now.

I think Brian’s gonna pop the question soon. He’s like the polar opposite of Jeremy.

So, I thought Jeremy was the one, buuuutttt, it turns out that Brian is!!!! 🙂