Category Archives: Uncategorized

So, I’m working on a book. Who will consider buying it for about 3 seconds and then come up with some excuse about being too busy or not having the money? 3 seconds, come on, I think I deserve that.

Please enjoy this Verizon ringback tone while your party is stuck in 2002!!! Chappelle’s Show’s on! We can either watch that or rent a movie from Blockbuster!!! Am I right or am I right???

“Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.” – Chuck Palahniuk

“We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust. We kissed in the fields under the trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town, but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said death is a midnight runner.”

It’s really fortuitous that Father’s Day always coincides with graduation time. Sorry, dad, for wasting your hard-earned money and being an ungrateful disappointment, here’s a present!! :))))

I’ll make you a deal. How about I do whatever the fuck I want and you shut the fuck up? Sound good?

I’m falling in love with Casey Lynch. The computer generated guitarist. From the guitar hero series. Did I mention I have issues with women?

I’ve been told that Dave Charlie is a “niche market.” But is he really? Send your answers to thatwasrhetorical@youidiot.com

Fuck. I just realized that I’m “emo.” Godfuckingdammit, I hate myself even more.

I think maybe I’ll have children one day. If the condom breaks. Or she blows me and keeps my semen in a leaf and impregnates herself later with a turkey baster.